kung minsan,
naiinis ako sa mga ginagawa kong tula
hindi dahil kulang sa tugma
hindi dahil walang diwa at kaluluwa
hindi dahil sa hindi malawak na lathala
kundi palagi,
may kasamang pag-ibig ang aking paglikha
na palaging may bitbit na katotohanan
na mga kataga'y maaaring sayo'y sumugat
na sa kabila n'on ay nagawa ko pa ring ilathala
kung minsan,
naiinis ako sa mga ginagawa kong tula
dahil ikaw ang bumabasa
habang siya ang paksa
You haunt me not only in my dreams
But your shadow follows me even on the newly released songs of a band I just heard the name for the first time
No
Even on the songs of my favorite band I knew since high school
I
Can't
Unheard
You
The meaningless now shouts in my face saying look at me
That even the phrases I read in the novel I hold in my hands remind me of you
No
Even on the memes I see on the internet undoubtedly scream your wholeness
I
Can't
Unseen
You
Not only I am haunted by the life that could have been with you
But that every time I cry, your image will always follow as if you are comforting my brokenness
No
Even when I'm in my happiest I think of you and hoping you too are in your joyous state
I
Can't
Help
But
Pray
For
You
You made me question my sanity yet now I know what I can be capable of
That I sometimes stay away from books, music, and arts for they only gravitate me more to the thoughts of you
No
Even when I am alone and sitting with silence, you will be the whispers I can't run from
I
Can't
Untie
Your
Being
From
Me
This is the curse of not choosing you
No
This is the gift of knowing you because part of me is so grateful
That
I
Can
Always
And
Forever
Write
About
You
"I looked for you in every timeline..."
You said.
"...and i will always look and search for you."
You continued.
Little did you know,
I look for you in every song,
In every sentence of the books I read,
In the letters hidden on the internet
And maybe, I'll talk to one of the androids in the future
Ask them if they know me or what do they know about me
Because somehow, I'm sure that you were behind them
I know your deep love will always linger
And I hope, I hope that it will always bring me closer to you
To finally unmasked the face I long to draw in my sketchbook
Or to feel your hands caressing mine,
Until then, I will always look for the man I called Ethereal...
...who has walked on every timeline sending his love for me.
Mahal kita sa paraang 'di mauunawaan ng iba
Dahil sino nga ba ang magmamahal ng lubos
Pagkatapos ay hahayaan lang ito lumayo?
Sino nga ba ang nakatagpo ng hiwaga
Pagkatapos ay itatago lang sa mga tula?
Ngunit sadyang 'di ko maikakailang mahal nga kita
Dahil sino nga ba ang magmamahal na walang hinihintay na tugon?
Basta't alam na masagana at maligaya ka sa'yong mundo
Sapat nang mag-umapaw ang pagmamahal kahit 'di ito mahawakan
Dahil ang taong nagmamahal nang totoo
Hindi nakabatay sa pag-angkin ang lalim at rubdob
Na tila ba kahit kaya kang angkinin ay mas piniling manatiling malayo
Dahil hindi makasarili ang pag-ibig na totoo
Ngunit aaminin ko, may dalang kabigatan din ito
Dahil mas malalim masaktan ang taong nagmamahal ng totoo
---hindi pangkaraniwan pero lubos at totoo.
