Heto Na Naman

Heto na naman ang panahon kung saan tinatawag ako ng pagsusulat, 

Iwan ko daw ang anumang ginagawa ko at mas lumapit sa kanya

Siya daw ang bahala sa akin na para bang may kapalit na salapi ang bawat kong titik

Mahirap hindian, o hindi ko kayang hindian

Nakapaglabas na ko ng mga tula at kwento

Pero heto siya hinihila pa din ako sa kanya

Wala kong inspirasyon, tugon ko sa kanya, 

"Sinungaling..." sabay pitik sa aking bunbunan

May mga bagay na hindi ko sa kanya maikukubli

"...wala kang inspirasyon sa trabaho, 

pero sa akin, umaapaw,

na kung minsa'y iyong pinipigilan pa

Ako na lang kasi ang trabaho mo, nagsusumamo ako"

Ngumisi ako, ano pa nga ba?

Oras nga ng trabaho ko at heto, ikaw ang ginagawa ko.

Saka Na

Minsan ko nang sinabi, 

Na ang paglikha ko ng katha,

Di nakabase sa palakpak ng kung sino

Ngunit, may panahon, 

Na humihingi ito ng tugon, tulad ngayon,

Ayos lang bang ako naman ang hihingi niyon?

Ipagkakait ko muna sa mundo

Ang mga kathang nagdudulot ng tanong

Saka na ibabahagi ang bigat ng pagnanais ituloy... 

Pagkat para saan pa ang pagsamo,

Kung wala namang handang tumugon

Ikaw ba'y napangiti, napangisi, o nadurog ko

Ilalapat na lang muna sa espasyo, 

Na laan lang sa mga matang tunay na may gustong 

Maglakbay sa bawat titik, tugma, pangungusap, tutunghayan

...ang ating kwento

Koleksiyon ng mga Tula

 

Always Trilogy

"You are my muse and will always be."

You had the courage to tell it to my face

I asked, what did I do? 

You said, I existed and you read too many romance novels.

I would laugh out loud hearing this from you,

But, instead, I stayed quiet.

How would I respond to a blatant truth?

It was you who spoke again and smirked, "I know..."

"...but you are my muse and will always be."

And then, you walked away.

-------

"And you are my Ethereal and will always be."

I said as I watched you walked away and fade

I know, I didn't say it loud enough for you to hear

And perhaps, you'll never ever know...

Or perhaps, you already knew about it,

Because, after all, you are my Ethereal and will always be.

--------

You will always end up falling in love with me

 I tried everything I can that could alter it

Sometimes, I managed to prolong the pause between the fall

But most of the time, in every timeline, every universe...

...you just fell for me carelessly

I always ask you why, so I could understand,

And you always answer because it is I

And, perhaps, I've been asking the wrong person whys,

Because if one looks at the bigger picture...

...Lovely, it is I, and always I,

So, this time, I have decided to ask myself why,

Because I exist, obviously that's the answer,

Science and logic don't need to do the explaining,

Besides, mysteries should be left untouched apparently,

Because, eventually, no matter where we both are,

I will always take the path that leads to you...

...unconsciously and unknowingly.

When I Turn To Look Around

You have never failed to make me feel how much you love me

But dear, when I turn to look around this place only reminds me: 

of the bruises and pain long forgotten

of the joy and happiness I can only look back to

of the nostalgic presence of a home that cradled me

It's so familiar and feels like home,

that I have memorized every corner, every hole

And dear, it only made one thing for sure,

That the thought of us needs letting go

For being with you exist only in the past,

Familiar and nostalgia but I cannot grasp from where I stand

Cuddle a Book

This weather calls for a cuddle.

But if you are married to a guy who reads,

You'd rather find yourself holding a book, too, instead,

As you secretly take a peek,

How long will it take him to caress you than the pages he picks?

Or perhaps, nevermind, because you too enjoy the words you read.

If he finds reading more enjoyable,

You, too, know that and understands.

And perhaps, that's the perk of him being married to a reader too.

Making love comes after they are both weary and tired reading books...

...or writing poems.

About Love

I'd like to write about love

About two persons conquering against all odds 

About two hearts that keep choosing one another

I'd like to write about love

A love that is pure and genuine

A love that brings light to its' surrounding 

I'd like to write about love 

Something that would spark colors to those who'd hear it

Something that would help someone to keep going

I'd like to write about love.

Spoken Words Poetry: Marahuyo

Ito 'yung oras at panahon na nakangiti ka sa akin,

Oo, sa akin. At ako'y yumuko, 'di nakayang makipagtitigan sa'yo.

Ito 'yung bigla mong tinawag ang pangalan ko 

at ako'y lumingon ngunit 'di nakinig sa mga sumunod mong salita, pagkat nadidinig pa din ngalan ko sa iyong tinig. 

Ito 'yung unang pagkakataon na nagtama ang ating mga mata, at yung mga sumunod pa. Na pareho tayong umiwas, marahil ay nahihiya pa. 

Ito 'yung sa t'wing kasama kita na para bang walang halaga 'yung ingay ng mundo pagkat ikaw at ako at ang oras na 'to ay sapat na upang umikot ang ating mundo. 

Ito 'yung pagdampi ng labi mo sa aking noo, ilong o labi at ako'y yayakapin na tila ba nawala ang pagod at sumapat sa anumang nagkukulang. 

Ito 'yung kahit sa dami ng tao sa mundong ito tayo'y nagtagpo at umibig at sa isa't isa'y nanatili pagkat hindi lahat ay taglay ang marahuyong ito. 

Marahuyo ng pag-ibig na tanging makakamtan lang ng dalawang pusong handang tumupad sa pangako sa isa't isa at hindi bibitaw. 

Ito 'yung nagawa kong sumulat ng tula patungkol sa'ting dal'wa, kulang sa tugma ngunit sapat upang maunawaan ng pusong hanap ay hiwaga. 

Spoken Words Poetry: Higit Akong Namangha

Sa bawat abakada na natutunan
Sa bawat 1 plus 1 o 9 tayms 9 na nasagutan
Sa bawat tama o mali na nakamtan
May ilang katotohanan ang aking napag-alaman

Sa aking tahanan mayroong magulang
Sa paaralan nandyan si sir at ma'am
Sabay na nagtyatyaga para sa aking kinabukasan
O anong palad ko pala na sila'y nariyan

Ngunit patawad aking ama at ina..
Pagka't higit akong namangha sa guro ko kanina..
Bukod sa pagmamahal na mayroon siya sa aming mag-aaral..
Bukod sa pag-aalaga at pasensya niya sa amin araw-araw..
Bukod sa talino at kaalaman na 'di niya ipinagdadamot kahit kami'y pasaway..
Bukod sa mga katangiang iyon at sa mga hindi ko pa nasabi ngayon..
Maaring isa rin siyang ina o anak o kapatid na may obligasyon..
Ngunit paanong ang pagmamahal sa amin ay nandun?
Paano niya nagawang magmalasakit sa 'di niya kaano-ano o kadugo?
Paano niya napagsasabay mahalin at gampanan ang dalawang mundo?
Dalawang mundo na araw-araw ay sabay niyang sinusuong.
Responsibildad sa lehitimong pamilya at pangalawang tahanan na wari'y nagkukumpetensya..
Ngunit nakakamangha na kaya niyang pakalmahin ang dalawa..

Naiintindihan ko ang pagmamahal mo sa akin, aking ina at aking ama..
Pagka't ako'y inyong anak; karugtong ng puso at diwa..
Ngunit higit akong namangha sa guro ko kanina..
San niya hinuhugot ang pusong taglay niya?
O anong hiwaga ang pag-ibig niya para sa kinabukasan ng mga anak ng estranghero at di niya kakilala.

I'm a Writer

I'm a writer, if anyone tries to wonder

I can go where no one else can wander

With a flip of a page, i travel

I can make your day,

i can make your life a novel

I'm a writer, with a pen and a paper, the world I conquer.

You can come with me if you want, only if you have a heart that falters ..

(a poem collaboration with Berto the Infinite)

Virtues: Hope

Photo by: Shella Salud

Why do you swim against the current?

                where you feel alone and different

                where things are tough and unkind

                where tears may fall but no one finds

Why do you still hold her hands so tight?

                when she have told you to let her die

                when she have pushed you so hard and far

                when she have given up and never want to fight

Why do you put up that smile on your face?

                while deep inside you’re so much in pain

                while thinking that everything’s not okay

                while believing that later it won’t be fake

Why do you live as if you really own forever?

                though you know you can’t stay any longer

                though life often tastes sour and bitter

                though happiness may turn to never

Why do you still care for this world?

                you see how it rots everyday

                you despise the justice they prevail

                you witnessed how humanity can fail

What is that thing that keeps you going?

                Is it the heart that doesn’t stop beating?

                The passion you always have deep within?

                Or the so called Hope you never stop holding?

Why do you keep on closing your eyes?

                bowing your head and bending your knees

                clasping your hands as He catches your tears

                crying your heart out as He hugs you so dear

Help me tell the world where to get that kind of Hope.

                Because I think everybody needs to know

                Because then maybe the world won’t be so cold

                Because finally they’ll see that with God there is Hope.

Virtues: Hope

Our Story

Romeo and Juliet we became

Untold story –  ours have turned

Against all odds is a funny tale

But tell me, why are we the same?

It would be easier if you told the truth

And now I think, you become so untrue

You caused me to become so doubtful of you

And then the reality was I have been fooled

I cried not because of you

But because you touched the world I live for

How can I be like I was before

If they already turned sour, bitter and cold

How can you be like this to me?

How can you tell how much your love is?

If you can caused doubt on the beat of my heart

Then your doing maybe something not right.

How can I fall

If I don’t have the reality of it all;

If your love for me is safe and comfy

Are you sure you’re ready to catch me?

If you hold the plot of the story

Please make it something so pure and truly

And cast the doubt inside me

Because the truth is, I want to keep our story..

Maybe..

Maybe it hurts because you love the craft, 

otherwise you would not feel a single pain.

Maybe you get angry because you treat it your own, 

otherwise you would not give a care.

Maybe you are so crashed because you are giving your best shot,
otherwise it would not even matter.




Maybe that’s the deal between love and pain, 

that when something is worth it, you bleed and fight for it.

Maybe that’s the thing about passion, 

keeping on and holding on though you know it’s okay to let go.

Maybe that's the reality of life, 

that passion will never be enough, until you get rid of your self-doubt.

Whys..

Why do I keep on leaving?

                leaving behind those people I love
                not minding the pain deep inside..

Why do I keep on moving away?
               though I know it's worth a stay
               still I move slowly away..

Why can’t I stay a little bit longer?
               longer 'til the love subsides
               and leave only when happiness dies..

Why can't I be contented?
               where I'm happy and loved
               when everything feels alright..

Why do I hate people who boxed people?
                not giving them the freedom to choose on their own..
                and oh, how I despise to obey them so..

Why do I hate to fake how I really feel?

                yet trying real hard to be nice and sweet

                in the end, I politely get mad and disagree..

Why can’t I follow the river’s flow?
                where everything's easy as you go
                you wont be so different and alone..

Why do I have so many whys?
                and act as if everything's fine
                oh I remember, my choice collides with God's..

Para sa Aking Ama..

Para sa taong nagturo sakin magbasa nung panahong pinagtatawanan pa ko sa klase tapos nagulat sila nang biglang marunong na ko magbasa;
para sa taong kumarga sakin nung nahulog ako sa hagdan kahit di naman masakit;
para sa taong unang nakaalam na gustung-gusto ko pagdumadaan ang bus na sinasakyan namin sa fly-over;
para sa taong nag-explain kung ba't dapat ko makita ang red na langit nung gabing yun, na ilang dekada pa ang dadaan bago masilayan ulit;
para sa taong pag naghatid sakin sa school madalas late ako, pero sagot niya ko sa teacher tongue emoticon ;
para sa taong namilit samin matulog sa tanghali, kaya siguro matangkad kami;
para sa taong nagsusuyod sa buhok namin nung may kuto pa kami tongue emoticon ;
para sa taong ipinasyal kami sa iba't ibang lugar;
para sa taong seryoso kapag nagluluto at kapag naglilinis ng baril;
para sa taong nakakatawa paglasing;
para sa taong hanggang ngayon hindi kami iniwan kahit hindi na namin siya kasama gabi-gabi...
para sa lalaking mahal na mahal ng kanyang mga anak, at ng kanilang ina..

Maligayang araw ng mga tatay!

Sumisilip na Katotohanan

Sabi nila may tatlong bagay na hindi maitatago nang matagal:
                                ang araw, ang buwan at ang katotohanan
Sabihin mo sakin kung narinig mo na nga ba ng tungkol dun,
                                kasi'y sumisilip na ang katotohanan mo


Kahit paltan mo ng ngiwi ang ngiti sa iyong mga labi;
                                hindi mo napaltan ang tamis na ito’y para sa’kin

Ipagsigawan mo mang ito’y isang malaking palabas lamang;
                                Giliw, iba ang ibinulong ng 'yong puso sa’kin

Itago mo mang pilit ang saya ‘twing ako’y iyong kapiling;
                                ang mga mata mo’y di kayang magsinungaling

At nakuha mo ba ang gusto kong ipabatid sa’yo giliw:
                                sa likod ng pagpapanggap mo,
                                alam kong ako’y espesyal sa’yo.

How?

How dare you to act so sweet
Making me feel I’m special and dear
Making me believe your love is real
And my heart you’re trying to steal

You really got the nerve to say
How beautiful I am today
And it secretly puts a smile on my face
I wonder if you told her the same

Tell me how do you do it so easy?
Make these things look so right
When in reality somebody’s gonna cry
How cruel you are to break someone’s heart

You might not stop and keep playing your game
But I will be the one to stay away
In that way she would be okay
Though I must admit, I like you anyway.

The Real Deal

Photo by: Ronald B. Santiago

When you feel you’re a failure
and when you know you’re not okay
How do you deal with the pain
when even tears fail to express?

When your heart starts to quit
but your faith still holds you dear
Tell me how do you deal with it

when you know you’re starting to give in?

When you think you've done enough
and when you had given your best shot
How do you deal with your heart
when everything still falls apart?

When you become so weak
and you just don’t know how to deal
Someone knows exactly what you feel
so come and pour out everything unto Him

And though I know you know the Name
allow me to mention in this phrase
‘In my weakness, JESUS is my strength’
And this is the real deal we need to face.

Kagandahan

And another poem was made as requested by my tita again. Isn't she so supporting? Hehe. Well this was actually her gift to her cousin, and our tita also.

Here it is..

A Poem For Someone (The story behind)

This poem was produced as requested by my tita yhan, in exchange for a small amount of money.

Well yeah, I felt bad for doing a poem in exchange of money because truly I am a believer of the so called passion -- that you're doing something not expecting anything in return because the joy of doing it satisfies that hunger in your heart and that is something peiceless. But if some people can use their craft to earn a living, why not consider your own talent and ability as a source of income too. And since I am needing an extra income, why not?

But still, this is a passion, so don't get me wrong and I hope you're getting my point. ;)