Pangalawang Pinakamataas na Uri ng Pagmamahal Part 3

Alam mo bang may mga tanong akong alam kong ikaw lang ang makakasagot?

Alam ko.

Kaso madalas ang mga sagot mo, dinadaan mo pa sa bugtong. 

Ako ba yun? O ikaw?

Ewan ko sa'yo.

Marami tayong pagkakapareho, isa na siguro yun.

Alam mo bang sa dami ng pagkakapareho natin, mukang niyayapakan ko 'yung mga niyayapakan mo dati. 

Naku, 'wag. 

'Wag ka mag-alala, kagaya mo, nawawalan na din ng bisa ang kryptonite sa akin.

O e ano tayo niyan, superhero?

Siguro, pero mas bagay yun sa'yo. I've witnessed how good your heart is. Sa akin, hindi pwede, mas pipiliin ko ang tahimik na buhay, hindi ko aagawan ang Diyos sa trabaho Niya, kaya hindi ko pagaaksayahan iligtas ang mundo.

Alam kong sa kaya mong paraan, nakakapagligtas ka rin. Kilala din kita, kilalang-kilala at nakita ko 'yun.

Sus, kahit normal na tao, kaya 'yun gawin.

May gusto ka pa bang itanong?

Madami. Sobrang dami. Sabi ko nga niyayapakan ko yung mga niyayapakan mo dati. Para kong nasa maze na nangangapa, namumulot ng mapa sa daan na parang ikaw ang huling humawak. Lagi na lang may WTF na para bang di na ko nasanay. Gusto kita makausap... ng personal.

Sige, tara dito sa Toronto.

Huli na, wala na ko sa maze. Sa tulong ni Frank, para akong si Max sa I moved Your Cheese na nakawala sa maze.

So, wala ka nang tanong?

Gusto ko sana makakwentuhan ka sa bagay na 'tu na para lang tayong ngumunguya ng mani. Ang WTF di ba? I mean, alam kong may isang tao out there na makakakwentuhan ko sa parehong bagay na napagdaanan namin. Dalawang weirdo nag-uusap, parang ganun.

Niyaya kita sa Toronto.

I have Frank.

Ako ang may tanong.

Shoot it.

Bakit 'di ka naghintay?

The same reason why you chose your passion over me.

---

Don't worry. It's perfectly fine. I completely understand. Napakagandang rason 'yun para talikuran ang isang tao.

So, ito na 'yung closure natin?

Siguro. Pero gusto ko lang din sabihin na kahit kailan ata di ko magagawang magpaalam sa'yo. You are the only person I know out there na kapareho ko o parte ng mga misteryo ko. Nung time na una kitang nakilala dun sumirko-sirko ang mundo ko. Gusto kong idecipher kung bakit. Pero baka mapunta na naman ako sa lugar na di ko gusto. Isa pa, nung panahon na 'yun? May mga nasaktan ba ako o may mga naagrabyado dahil sa kaguluhan ng isip ko resulta ng mga maling pagiimbestiga? Kaya mo bang sagutin 'yun?

Huwag ka na bumalik dun. Tapos na ang pagiging imbestigador mo. Iba na ang career mo ngayon. Sabi mo nga, kagaya ng pagliligtas sa mundo, hindi mo trabaho 'yun.

Just at least let me know if I owe someone an apology. Do I owe you an apology?

---

Sige, sabihin mo na lang kung kailan ka handa. So, are you seeing someone? Nakita mo na ba ang mag-aalay sa'yo ng pangalawang pinakamataas na uri ng pagmamahal and vice versa?

Ikaw nakita mo na ba?

I'll be lying kung sasabihin kung wala kay Frank.

Then I'm happy for the both of you. Genuinely. I'll have a favor to ask for, though.

Sige lang.

I'll get married next week. Hindi na kita makakausap na ganun ka dalas.

A-ano ka ba, wag mo na pagandahin. Iwasan na kita. I know. I understand. Baka mamisinterpret yung friendship natin. Best wishes. Genuinely. Nauna pa kayo ikasal sa amin ni Frank.

Friendship? Hindi lang friendship 'tu para sa akin. Ikaw---ikaw ang pangalawang pinakamataas na uri ng pagmamahal ko, Sheriez. Now, I don't care kung hindi ako yung sa'yo, basta ikaw 'yung sa akin. Napakamanhid mo.

---

'Wag mo na 'yun alalahanin. Hindi ko naman sina-- O, e ba't tumatawa ka?

Papunta na tayo sa teleserye. 🤣 Anyway, hindi ako manhid. Nararamdaman ko lahat, napapansin ko lahat. Kaso, naaalala ko yung gabing 'yun, ayoko lang magkamali ulit o 'di ko mamalayang may masaktan. Kaya simula nun, unless marinig ko mismo sa tao ang totoo, wala akong ibang paniniwalaan kahit may napagtatagni sa isip ko, i-iisang tabi ko yun at ituturing na kathang-isip.

Ngayon, narinig mo na. Hindi na 'yun kathang isip.

---

Sige na, maliligo na ko. Ikamusta mo ko kay Frank.

Ito na ang huli kong tawag sa'yo, Rogel. Gusto kong irespeto ang magiging pagsasama niyo ng magiging asawa mo.

---

Hanggang sa muli, Rogel. Ingat.

---

-------

Heto Na Naman

Heto na naman ang panahon kung saan tinatawag ako ng pagsusulat, 

Iwan ko daw ang anumang ginagawa ko at mas lumapit sa kanya

Siya daw ang bahala sa akin na para bang may kapalit na salapi ang bawat kong titik

Mahirap hindian, o hindi ko kayang hindian

Nakapaglabas na ko ng mga tula at kwento

Pero heto siya hinihila pa din ako sa kanya

Wala kong inspirasyon, tugon ko sa kanya, 

"Sinungaling..." sabay pitik sa aking bunbunan

May mga bagay na hindi ko sa kanya maikukubli

"...wala kang inspirasyon sa trabaho, 

pero sa akin, umaapaw,

na kung minsa'y iyong pinipigilan pa

Ako na lang kasi ang trabaho mo, nagsusumamo ako"

Ngumisi ako, ano pa nga ba?

Oras nga ng trabaho ko at heto, ikaw ang ginagawa ko.

Between Or

I have been asked:
If you are torn between the two,
Tell me what would you choose
To love what you do or do what you love?

If you have asked me this decade ago,
I'd say it's futile to choose the first,
But perhaps I have become wiser now
And so this is how I supposed to answer that:

Love what you do then do what you love.
Polish those shoes then paint on the canvass you bought
Wait tables on weekdays then on weekends be the skater that you are
Be the rockstar, be the poet, be whoever you love to be

And if as of now, you can't yet do what you love,
Learn the art of finding joy in what you do,
Use it as a ladder that leads to your passion
Love what you do then do what you love.

But if you have asked me this decade from now,
Perhaps this is what I would say:
The goal is not to love what you do,
The goal is to do what you love.

And perhaps I'm wrong,
But I know, this one thing is for sure
To love what you do, you must do what you love,
In order to survive the cruelness of life,

Sweetheart, 
please save yourself
from a life 
that is so depressing.

I'm a Writer

I'm a writer, if anyone tries to wonder

I can go where no one else can wander

With a flip of a page, i travel

I can make your day,

i can make your life a novel

I'm a writer, with a pen and a paper, the world I conquer.

You can come with me if you want, only if you have a heart that falters ..

(a poem collaboration with Berto the Infinite)

Virtues: Courage

Photo by: Chinkee Calapan

Inhale, exhale, leap

Still you wait for the beat

Wondering if it’ll cut deep

Or maybe you won’t feel a thing

Care not for your heart

It will stop shouting hard

But don’t feel sad afterward

It’s your choice not to hear it out

The thing you should know

Is the truth that time is short

If you think it’s your purpose

Then why do you keep it false?

It’s okay to take it slow

As long as you’re moving close

You may not reach your gold

But at least you have tried a dose

We fear what we don’t know

But that’s the beauty of the unknown

Living a life unpredictable

Only God knows the tomorrow

So have courage and look above

Take that step and move forward

If He knows what’s going on

Then why fear the unknown?

But before this poem end

Fear is essential, I must tell

Seek God’s voice, please be sure

Or useless courage will show

Virtues: Courage

Maybe..

Maybe it hurts because you love the craft, 

otherwise you would not feel a single pain.

Maybe you get angry because you treat it your own, 

otherwise you would not give a care.

Maybe you are so crashed because you are giving your best shot,
otherwise it would not even matter.




Maybe that’s the deal between love and pain, 

that when something is worth it, you bleed and fight for it.

Maybe that’s the thing about passion, 

keeping on and holding on though you know it’s okay to let go.

Maybe that's the reality of life, 

that passion will never be enough, until you get rid of your self-doubt.

Once Long Ago

Another poem requested by a client. Of course, this is primarily dedicated to my mama. :)

A Poem For Someone (The story behind)

This poem was produced as requested by my tita yhan, in exchange for a small amount of money.

Well yeah, I felt bad for doing a poem in exchange of money because truly I am a believer of the so called passion -- that you're doing something not expecting anything in return because the joy of doing it satisfies that hunger in your heart and that is something peiceless. But if some people can use their craft to earn a living, why not consider your own talent and ability as a source of income too. And since I am needing an extra income, why not?

But still, this is a passion, so don't get me wrong and I hope you're getting my point. ;)